Happy holidays and impending new year, friends! I have some suggestions today for rituals you could do to cap off your year and ring in the new one. Some of these are woo-woo, because I’m one of those insufferable “spiritual but not religious” types, and some are not. Take what you love, make it your own, and let me know how it goes!
Wear red underwear on New Year’s Eve, perhaps purchased specifically for the occasion. This is supposedly an old tradition, meant to bring you good luck in the sex and romance sector of your life for the year to come.
Make a list of commitments you’re going to make in the new year that will lead you further down the ethical path you want to take. These could be as involved as “start volunteering for my local queer youth hotline” or as simple as “stop using the word ‘crazy’ because it’s ableist.” Consider sharing your list with a friend (or the internet) so you’ll feel more accountable to it.
Think hard about your 2020 goals while having your first orgasm of the year. (For bonus points, time it so you orgasm right at midnight!)
Make a playlist that you intend to be your soundtrack for the year to come. Put songs on it that make you feel the way you want your next year to feel.
If you don’t have anyone to kiss at midnight and you want to, try looking for a midnight date on Tinder or somesuch. There are other people out there who want to be kissed!
Take a leaf out of Alcoholics Anonymous’s book and make amends for the ways you fucked up this year. (It’s okay. We all fucked up in one way or another, every single one of us.) Send some heartfelt apology texts or emails. You’ll feel better and someone else might too.
Make a list of new kinks/sexual activities you want to try in the new year. Start researching how to do them, if you like.
Dance hard enough that you start sweating and glowing. (There are always lots of places to go dancing on New Year’s Eve.) Think of it like a cleansing ritual for your body and vibes. ✨
Think about one significant change you’d like to make to your appearance in the coming year. Haircut? New tattoo? Start wearing lipstick? These may seem small but they can make a huge difference in your self-perception and the way your life feels to you.
Email a few of the people you follow online, but don’t know IRL, to let them know how their work enriched your life this year.
Delete a bunch of apps from your phone, especially ones you never use or ones that needlessly stress you out.
Start planning any travel you want to do or events you want to attend in the new year. Having a roadmap of the year to come will keep you on track and excited about your future.
Unfollow people you dislike, or who make you feel bad, on social media. You don’t need ‘em.
If you’re into sadomasochism of any variety, do a heavy scene the intention of which is to cathartically clear out last year’s bullshit and make room for the new year’s delights. For example, last year my partner made me list my 2019 goals between hits during a spanking scene; they’ve also made me list my achievements in the same way, since I’m not always good at recognizing how far I’ve come.
Work your way through these Reverb journal prompts to help you reflect on your year and look ahead to the new one. (I like to do my heavy-duty journaling at cafés or cocktail bars.)
Take to heart the old maxim that the way you spend the first day of your year sets the tone for the other 364 days to come, and make your January 1st incredible in every way you can. If something goes awry and your New Year’s Day disappoints you for some reason, just try again the next day until you have a day you’re happy with, and make that day your ideal to strive for, going forward.
Start a sex spreadsheet!
Take stock of the new people you met this year, in both personal and professional contexts, and what you learned from each of them.
Go through your condom stash and throw out any that have expired. While you’re at it, get rid of any bottles of lube that have gotten old and gross, and toss any sex toys that aren’t body-safe.
Take a hot bath and ritualistically exfoliate your whole body with a scrub or a body brush. Don’t forget to moisturize afterward!
Text one person who you think is cute and tell them you think they’re cute. (To paraphrase Natalie from Love Actually, “If you can’t say it on New Year’s, when can you, hey?”)
Make a list of things you want to let go of – insecurity, impostor syndrome, that one ex you keep thinking about – and then burn the list (safely!). This is best done at a bonfire with a crew of friends all doing the same, especially if you each dramatically read your lists aloud before tossing them into the flames. Catharsis ahoy!
Go for brunch with friends on New Year’s Day. Quell your hangovers with diner food and coffee.
Clean out your inbox, downloads folder, purse(s), fridge, desk drawers, and so on. New years are fresh starts!
Have a loved one shoot some photos of you – perhaps sexy ones, nude or in cute underwear. Create a record of who you were – and how gorgeous you were – at the start of the year.
Do you have any treasured New Year’s rituals? Feel free to hit “reply” and tell me all about ‘em!